Hey you... yeh YOU!! Come over here for a minute.
Did you know that for only $29.99, you can purchase a genuine, hand-made healing cloth? If you act now, we'll even throw in a vile of blessed healing water straight from the Sea of Galilea.
That's not all!!! Not even close!! For only a shockingly low price of $60.00 a month, without even setting eyes on your or having even a 15 minute face to face meeting, we can hook you up with the absolute love of your life. Only we know that the two of you were MEANT to be together. You could never meet without our help as a third party anyways.. and, since you wrote us such a riveting, revealing profile, we know all we need to know about you and will only send this valuable information to the hurting, lonely people who are a perfect match for you.
Something else?? You CANNOT live another day without this vacuum cleaner, this blender, this book, or this exercise equipment. Your heart will stop beating if you don't buy this juicer and your friends will stop talking to you and deny ever knowing you if you don't at least try a 30 day trial of this super dynamic, one-of-a-kind food processor.
If you're a nobody who wants to be a somebody in this world, you have to wear the best clothes, use the most expensive acne blasting skin products and wear the highest heels (if you're a woman, that is). If your eyelashes don't meet the minimum 1 1/2" length requirement when you hit the dance clubs, you'd best not hope for a second glance much less a second date. And what's with that second rate makeup. It looks like you pulled it out of a box of cereal wrapped in plastic.. I mean.. come on.. get with the program!!!
I don't know about you guys, but I believe I have finally hit a wall. I've been going to malls, stores, and kiosks where I am a card carrying, bill paying member and been treated like an absolute piece of crap. Not long ago, a vendor at one of those mobile businesses wanted to sell me an amazing product that shines your nails for a period of 6 months (no touch-ups necessary). If I were to buy right now, she would waive her commission and throw in a free tub of body butter with ingredients that came straight out of the Dead Sea. *I didn't mention to her that the vendor immediately to the left of her and 10 feet away was offering me the exact same amazingly incredible deal and, coincidentally, had shown me the exact same pile of credit card receipts that had been processed that day alone for their unbelievable products*. Needless to say, I politely declined. She continued on. She told me that my life would change with this product. There is no other product like this. I have to admit.. the pressure tactic was wearing on my nerves.. so I told her that I would think about it.. walk around the mall and, perhaps, come back and buy her product. After all, following her free application of glowing nail stuff, I now only had one shiny nail that no longer matched the rest of my hands. I might never be able to show my face in public again if I didn't buy the product and complete the job.
Anyways, this vendor looked right in my eyes and called me a liar. She said I had no intention of coming back and buying her product (gotta give her that one).. and that I was just telling her that so that her annoying sales pitch would end (Ok.. Ok.. we'll give her that one too). Admittedly, she was right.. however, that's now how you talk to a potential customer.
We are living in an uncaring world. It's all about money. It's about power and influence. If you have it, flaunt it. If you don't, you might as well crawl back under that rock that you've been living under for the past Lord knows how many years.
Well, I, for one, have had it. I'm boycotting shopping for things that aren't necessary in my world. I haven't been wearing makeup for a few weeks now and, so far, my face hasn't fallen off of my head. I don't have high heels but my feet are still working and my legs continue to carry me wherever I need to go (minus the blisters, sore toes and incredible lack of balance, I might add).
I don't need a special word from Joyce Meyer for only $20.00 ($46.99 Canadian) because if God can talk to Joyce, He can also talk to me.
As for the vacuum cleaner... I have hardwood floors and the broom works just fine.
Am I lonely? Sure I am. I won't pay anyone to meet the love of my life though. I'll just hang tough, keep praying and hoping and one day, I believe, the man who is meant for me will find me.
In the meantime, I'm going to get back to the business of LIVING
~~ Peace, LOVE, and Happiness ~~
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