Sometimes I get the most profound messages from my own statements.
A few years ago, I received flowers for my graduation. The next day, the person who gave them to me stated that they hoped the flowers weren't dead since I had left them on the table over night. I told them that the flowers were already dead when they had been packaged. They had died the moment they were cut off from their life source.
As soon as I said it, I felt an ache in my heart... because I know that by my own doing, I have cut myself off from my life source, God. I've been denying my Christianity out of fear that people won't accept or like me and I've been living life completely outside of His will even though if it weren't for Him, I wouldn't even be alive today. So God... I'm sorry.. and I want to come back to You.
To my friends who can't accept this, I'm sorry but I've seen too many negative changes in my attitude, character and situation. I can't ignore it and, no matter how much I want to keep my friends, I want to keep God more.
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