The other day, while I was driving, the Lord put the word 'Yield' in my spirit. I knew He wasn't talking to me strictly about driving. It couldn't be... since I'm such a good driver *ahem*.
When I got home, I decided to look up the definition of the word 'yield' in the dictionary. I found a few definitions but I'm sharing with you the one that spoke the loudest to me.
Yield: b. to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another : hand over possession of c : to surrender or submit (oneself) to another.
Most of us drivers know that when we come to a 'Yield' sign, it means we are to wait... to give the other vehicles the right of way. I know most of us don't do that.. and.. well.. the long and the short of it is.. if you don't yield the right of way to oncoming traffic, you're taking a terrible risk which could end up hurting.. or even killing you.. and others.
These days everyone is in a hurry. Even if we don't have anywhere in particular to go.. we're still in a hurry. Running here.. running there... always rushed. I'm sure most of us that are driving don't even notice the scenery anymore. We have one thing in our mind and that is to reach our destination and accomplish what we had set out to do.
Most of us, when we're bearing down on a Yield sign are stretching our necks to impossible angles to be sure we are in the clear and then gunning it. Some of the more daring (or stupid or hurried) people don't even bother to look.. they just 'assume' that the other drivers will see them and give them the right of way... not once thinking that the other drivers are probably in a hurry too.
Don't get me wrong.. I've done it too. I've blown past a yield sign on more than one occasion... narrowly missing an accident or two... even cursing out the people that didn't give me the right of way even though they could clearly see that I was a woman on a mission. I had places to go and people to see and I wasn't about to wait.. for anybody.
Well, the other day while I was driving, another driver didn't heed his yield sign and cut right out in front of me. It wasn't a huge deal. I didn't have to slam on the brakes or anything... but it was kind of annoying nonetheless. That is until God reminded me of how many times I've done the same thing... been in such a hurry and so focussed on what I had to do that I had absolutely no regard for anyone that was sharing the road with me.
As I pulled in to the parking lot, something seized my spirit... it cut so deep that I almost couldn't catch my breath. It was as though I could hear God asking me to yield to Him. To slow down and give Him the right of way. I'm seeing.. especially with all that's happening in my life right now.. that by blowing past the signs, I'm losing complete control of my life.... putting myself and others at great risk.
I don't want to lose my son... I wish I could wrap my arms around him and hold him... but I can't... I have to let him go. I have to let him spread his wings and try something new. It's breaking my heart but if I don't do it.... I'm going to be cheating him out of something he wants to do. Part of me, in a way, is jealous because I never had the courage to do the same thing when I was younger. I chose to do something I didn't want to do out of fear of hurting someone else's feelings.. and I have lived to regret that ever since.
I felt God telling me that I need to surrender my life to Him. To give Him the reins and the control. He knows what He's doing and He always has... and my 'ignoring' the signs won't make anything change. In fact, I may be making things worse by trying to hold on so tightly to things which are outside of my control.
He's telling me to slow down... to enjoy the scenery and to let Him take control. I want to do this... I truly do... well..a big part of me wants to anyways... but there's that small, whispering part of me that isn't quite ready. The new driver. The one that wants to tempt fate.... so I know I'll need help. Maybe something like a driving instructor for a short while... who knows?
God.. help me to yield to You. Help me relinquish control of my life and my circumstances to You. Forgive me for everything I've said to and against You. Live in my heart again and bring me peace and the strength to get through this.. knowing that You alone are in control and will work everything out for good in my life.. no matter what it looks like now.
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